I normally don't talk about politics. But, today, I did want to touch on the subject as it relates to marriage. I just don't understand why some people are so adamant in their attack on same sex marriages. It is beyond me how two people who love each other declaring that love and making their relationship "official" can be a threat to marriage as an institution.
Isn't divorce a greater threat to marriage? Consider that more than 50% of all marriages today end in divorce. This seems to me to be the real threat to marriage. Why aren't these same people attacking that?
Now, I'm not suggesting that a person stay in an abusive situation. Sometimes, the only way to deal with a deeply troubled relationship is to walk away. What I am suggesting is that people give up too easily in many cases. There are times when I believe that many people invest more effort in their careers than they do in marriage. And, to me, that's just plain wrong.
Yes, marriage can be very difficult. In fact, I believe it to be one of the most challenging things we all face. . . the other being parents. But when things get tough, that tells me that, often, we need to put more effort into the relationship - not abandon it.
Are there issues in your marriage? If so, then it's time to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Not a fight, not a screaming match. A loving talk. Aggression is most often met with aggression or defensiveness. It won't help you solve your problems. It's important to talk openly - and calmly - about the issue as you see it, and how that makes you feel. Be honest, be frank. But come from a place of love. Ask for help solving the problem. And remember, it seldom turns out that a single talk is going to get the job done. Resolving serious issues takes time. Ask your partner for help in creating a workable plan to address things.
Don't expect these talks to be easy, either. Because they're not. They can be extremely difficult and emotionally charged. Don't let that stop you from doing it. A long-term relationship requires effort and deep commitment. Well, didn't you make that commitment when you decided this relationship was something more than a passing phase? Honor yourself by honoring your commitment - and have that talk you so desperately need.
The other thing that can be vitally important is to ask yourself, "what's my part in this? What am I doing to contribute to the problem?" If you aren't willing to look at yourself, you take away the opportunity to be a part of positive change. It isn't easy to engage in this level of self-honesty, but it often is the difference between finding a solution and watching the problem get worse.
My final thought is this: If you can't resolve the issue alone, seek help. Find a good relationship counselor or therapist. There are many avenues you can explore and only you (and your mate) can decide which is best for you. Don't let embarrassment keep you from seeking help. I promise you that you aren't the first couple to need guidance.
If we truly want to honor the sanctity of marriage - and of all long-term relationships - let's start with the greatest threat to them: The willingness to give up too easily.
Create a Great Day!
Isn't divorce a greater threat to marriage? Consider that more than 50% of all marriages today end in divorce. This seems to me to be the real threat to marriage. Why aren't these same people attacking that?
Now, I'm not suggesting that a person stay in an abusive situation. Sometimes, the only way to deal with a deeply troubled relationship is to walk away. What I am suggesting is that people give up too easily in many cases. There are times when I believe that many people invest more effort in their careers than they do in marriage. And, to me, that's just plain wrong.
Yes, marriage can be very difficult. In fact, I believe it to be one of the most challenging things we all face. . . the other being parents. But when things get tough, that tells me that, often, we need to put more effort into the relationship - not abandon it.
Are there issues in your marriage? If so, then it's time to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Not a fight, not a screaming match. A loving talk. Aggression is most often met with aggression or defensiveness. It won't help you solve your problems. It's important to talk openly - and calmly - about the issue as you see it, and how that makes you feel. Be honest, be frank. But come from a place of love. Ask for help solving the problem. And remember, it seldom turns out that a single talk is going to get the job done. Resolving serious issues takes time. Ask your partner for help in creating a workable plan to address things.
Don't expect these talks to be easy, either. Because they're not. They can be extremely difficult and emotionally charged. Don't let that stop you from doing it. A long-term relationship requires effort and deep commitment. Well, didn't you make that commitment when you decided this relationship was something more than a passing phase? Honor yourself by honoring your commitment - and have that talk you so desperately need.
The other thing that can be vitally important is to ask yourself, "what's my part in this? What am I doing to contribute to the problem?" If you aren't willing to look at yourself, you take away the opportunity to be a part of positive change. It isn't easy to engage in this level of self-honesty, but it often is the difference between finding a solution and watching the problem get worse.
My final thought is this: If you can't resolve the issue alone, seek help. Find a good relationship counselor or therapist. There are many avenues you can explore and only you (and your mate) can decide which is best for you. Don't let embarrassment keep you from seeking help. I promise you that you aren't the first couple to need guidance.
If we truly want to honor the sanctity of marriage - and of all long-term relationships - let's start with the greatest threat to them: The willingness to give up too easily.
Create a Great Day!
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